ON WRONG ORDERS, COMPLAINING, AND LIVES FOR HERE OR TO-GO IN 2020!

Craig Hoffman
4 min readSep 21, 2020

ON WRONG ORDERS

Three weeks in a row.

That’s how many times my favorite hamburger shop screwed up my lunch order. I might have chalked up to a miscommunication, but I go there every Saturday for lunch. And; generally, I order the exact same thing.

THE FIRST TIME I ORDERED TWO VEGETABLE BURGERS AND A TERIYAKI BURGER.

BUT, I GOT TWO VEGETABLE BURGERS AND A “MOON-VIEWING” BURGER.

That is a seasonal special here in Japan. It is typically a hamburger with a fried egg on top. I like that burger, so I was not too disappointed my order was wrong.

THE SECOND TIME I ORDERED MY USUAL LUNCH, BUT I GOT IT “FOR HERE.”

CLEARLY, THIS MADE THE CASHIER NERVOUS.

I always get my lunch to-go, but I had some time to kill. The cashier took my order, and she gave me the total. It was far more expensive than usual.

I suppose I could have said something, but I did not. I forked over a couple of bills, and I waited for my lunch at the counter. The cashier handed me a tray with four hamburgers!

I was hungry, so I ate them.

THE THIRD TIME I ORDERED A “WIDE” BURGER.

IT WAS A NEW SPECIAL.

I ALWAYS TRY OUT THE NEW SANDWICHES AT THE PLACE.

It makes for easy content for Twitter and this blog. I also ordered a small tea. Once more, I waited for my lunch at the counter.

And, it was wrong.

I got my hamburgers, but they were regular burgers. My receipt showed I ordered “wide” hamburgers. Again, I should have said something.

But, I did not.

ON COMPLAINING TO THE UNIVERSE

SOMETIMES, I WONDER HOW THIS IS MY “ORDER” IN THE UNIVERSE.

TO BE SURE, MY LIFE IS GRAND, BUT IT NEVER QUITE MATCHES MY WISHES, DESIRES, OR EXPECTATIONS.

I AM LEFT TO ASK AS I THROW MY HANDS TOWARDS THE HEAVENS, “WHY IS THAT?”

ALAS, I NEVER GET AN ANSWER.

Perhaps, the universe got my “order” wrong. There is always the chance I read the menu wrong. Maybe, I walked into the wrong “restaurant.” I suppose I should have said something.

But, I doubt I did as I am not the grumbling type.

I realized that after this many years in Japan it is rare for me to complain things that do not go my way. I don’t know if that is a good thing. I see other foreigners complaining about a lot here.

I “hate” those folks.

ON EXPATS WHO COMPLAIN

I saw a young-looking expat a few months ago complaining to some shopkeeper about something or other. Clearly, the foreigner felt she was in the right. Maybe, she was, but…

THE POOR LITTLE, OLD JAPANESE WOMAN BEHIND THE COUNTER LOOKED LIKE SHE WANTED TO DISAPPEAR.

IT WAS A TERRIBLE SCENE.

The expat stayed animated for a minute. But; in the end, the expat’s hissy-fit worked. She got whatever it is she had wanted. And, the foreigner left happy; well, as happy as someone like that can be in life.

Good for her, I guess.

ON LIVES FOR HERE OR TO-GO

WHAT IF UPON MY CREATION IN THE UNIVERSE, I WOULD HAVE COMPLAINED TO GET WHAT I WANTED OUT OF MY LIFE?

One supposes arguing with an Almighty God does not end well. But, it might have been worth $%$%-ing…at least a little. To be sure, I am looking forward to my chance in the afterlife to ask, or better yet; perhaps, start:

COMPLAINING.

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Craig Hoffman

Craig is a #writer, #editor, #betareader & #blogger. 2000+ #blog posts & seven #ebooks including #shortstories “The Tempo of Tempura” and “Carl Crapper.”